• cley_faye@lemmy.world
    5·
    21 hours ago

    I did that once. Felt good. Still feels yucky though, with how deep this is ingrained into my brain.

    If anything, I’m able to see how much of self-imposed harmful stuff I’ve been trained to consider not only normal, but a necessity. I believe there was no malice in the people that pushed these things/beliefs onto me, but being conscious of them is a good first step to differentiate with what to keep and what to let go. Even if I can’t fix myself, I can at least try not to push these onto others, should the occasion rise.

  • tetris11@lemmy.ml
    30·
    2 days ago

    For anyone wondering - comic strips don’t need to be witty or poignant to send a message, they can just state the message directly in the panel

  • ummthatguy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    39·
    2 days ago

    Wrong as he was in his actions/behavior, the statement does draw a lot of water around these parts.

  • Whitebrow@lemmy.world
    15·
    2 days ago

    Being strong is being able to face the emotions you carry, sometimes you may need some help with that, and that’s okay.

    Running away, hiding behind a facade or bottling it till you get a heart attack won’t make them go away… well… maybe besides that last one.

  • Psaldorn@lemmy.world
    8·
    2 days ago

    Maybe I’m off but… they do make you weak, right?

    And we don’t just let emotions happen sometimes, we should acknowledge they are always there to one degree or another. There may be times when having a brave face is what is needed, but for most people most of the time, it isn’t

    So, the real takeaway should be “you don’t need to be strong all the time, in fact, you can’t”

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      1 day ago

      This really isn’t that profound as a man-to-man interaction. True friends are supportive. The big problem is when you show emotional sensitivity to a romantic partner. Too many men have been met with “the ick” when they open up to women.

    • abbadon420@sh.itjust.works
      10·
      2 days ago

      Yeah kinda. But in the sense that having control over your emotions is strong and not being able to control them is weak. That does mean you are weak when you cry in public, but that is kinda the point of crying. Its a way to communicate to others that you need help or support or comfort or something. It also means that you are weak when you are unable to control your anger and punch someone in the face when you don’t get your way. It also means that you are strong when you take time to talk about your emotions, since that helps you be in control of them.

      Control does not mean suppress, it actual means control. Know when to show them, use them, hide them, the whole shebang. It’s not an easy skill to master, so if you do, you’re definitely strong.

    • Ice@lemmy.world
      3·
      1 day ago

      I disagree.

      A lack of feeling is also a kind of weakness - usually it’s due to long-term suppression of emotion and leaves you out of touch with your inner self. Bottled up emotions tend to be rather damaging in the long term. Plus, you don’t just lose out on the hurtful/bad emotions.

      Acknowledging and overcoming negative feelings takes more strength than simply ignoring them.

      • Psaldorn@lemmy.world
        3·
        1 day ago

        I think you’re misunderstanding/I’m not explaining well.

        Accessing emotions is hard for a lot of us because we’ve been trained to clam up. But without that external factor, it wouldn’t be.

        But when we do actually do it, it now takes effort and strength when it probably shouldn’t.

        But the physical loss of control when, for example, crying, makes us physically vulnerable as well as emotionally.

        I can see why times in history, having v people be scared and breaking down would jeopardize themselves or others. But we’ve magnified that, or lost the nuance.

        Crying or raging or withdrawing in camp is safe, on a hunt or while driving a truck is the exception not the rule.

        I wonder if this is a modern human problem or just a human problem

        • Ice@lemmy.world
          1·
          21 hours ago

          Maybe. In my experience showing certain emotions as a man at all can be ridiculed or seen as weakness - which is what I was referring to in my comment.

          Allowing yourself (as you say) to be overwhelmed by emotion can definitely leave you weak/physically vulnerable - but the weakness here is not the emotions themselves but rather the lack of control.

    • valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      3·
      2 days ago

      I agree, I think in the context of the comic with „stoic and strong“ it does feel weird to say that they do not make you weak, because he is obviously struggling.

      Like you I think the point should be more about generally building up to better deal with all our emotions - even unwanted ones - and be more comfortable while experiencing them.

      But I also see how in the comic it‘s easier to say to a buddy that he is not weak to comfort him to open up and then later on circle back to his ideas of strength and stoicism. But I think we have to rethink standards and ideas about masculinity and emotions for sure.