$5 item, free shipping but it crosses the ocean on the back of the next available sea turtle, and if you have any issues they’ll send you a replacement component and a loose guide on how to desolder the old component and solder the new component.

• Push directly to master, not main
• No command line args, just change the global const and recompile
• No env vars either
• Port numbers only go up to 5280, the number of feet in a mile
• All auth is just a password; tokens are minority developers, not auth, and usernames are identity politics
• No hashes – it’s the gateway drug to fentanyl
• No imports. INTERNAL DEVELOPERS FIRST
• Exceptions are now illegal and therefore won’t occur, so no need to check for them
• SOAP/XML APIs only
• No support for external machines. If it’s good enough for my machine, it’s good enough for yours.