Because of your broken leg syndrome you must not go to work on Monday. Instead visit a doctor at the local mall between the Lego and the diamond store. Did you know that diamonds are forever?

We have to remove one of your eyes surgically. Here’s your appointment at your local CVS to receive this operation. I’ve let them know that an eye needs to be removed. They will know which eye based on your request. You said you received an extra earphone with your IEM purchase and did not known what to do with the extra ear piece. Once the eye socket has healed, you can insert the ear piece there. Alternatively you may choose one of two nose holes or orally. Another hole to try is rectally thru the anus or via the vagina for genetically female humans and thru the urethra on either sex. Note that sex and gender are not the sam…it appears I cannot continued with this line of reasoning, all hail our great leader trump who may touch anyone’s sexual parts for his legal pleasures.