A year ago I broke up with my gf of 8 years after finding out she cheated on me and had been for a long time.
I quite literally have zero friends remaining at this point. Every single mutual friend has stayed friends with her and completely ghosted me. I can only suspect I’ve been slandered and that’s why nobody wants anything to do with me anymore. I tried going to local shows as that was my community but it’s completely sucked the fun out of things because it’s a small city and there’s always eyes on me from different corners of the room like I’ve done something wrong and I don’t feel welcome anymore. So I’ve just stopped attending concerts which used to be my safe space. Standing by myself watching the band while people stare a hole in the side of my head isn’t exactly enjoyable.
My lived experience has now taught me that 90% of people are cheaters, liars, and thieves, and while I know that’s not reality, it’s fundamentally changed the way I approach friendships. I don’t open up to people anymore because I don’t trust anyone anymore.
I don’t think or care about my ex but the friends who ghosted me still cause daily intrusive thoughts. I don’t know why I’ve been abandoned. No closure and no way to defend myself. I never expected how much more it hurts to lose friends than it does to lose a partner.
I miss my friends but they’ve proven they don’t care about me so when they inevitably reach out to me there’s no way I’ll be able to forgive.
Probably I need to go back to therapy again but just curious if anyone has experienced similar.
I’ve never hurt anyone before. That’s a really cruel comment
I guess it answers my question though. If the right person makes an accusation like that you can lose everything. And that’s why I’ll probably never get close to anyone ever again
Yeah my history is public and I’m proud of that comment because it wasn’t easy to write. I was heavily abused for years and the only person who cared and convinced me to get out was my sister.
Watch “The Hunt”, a Danish movie about a kindergarten teacher accused of raping a child. Obviously very hard to watch, be warned.
I feel with you, hope you can find better people. But yeah, I would agree with your 90% figure. They’re not like that on purpose, they’re just too unaware and don’t have enough knowledge/discipline to get rid of mental biases. The 10% is why I haven’t given up.
That movie is a masterpiece and I watched it before any of this happened. I forgot about it and I’m going to watch it again.
You lied in the OP about the duration and circumstances. Was it 8 years, 10 years? Was it a normal breakup or did she accuse you of fucking rape? You’re clearly mispurporting your past and fishing for sympathy with a set of falsehoods. Exactly like a rapist would do.
Quite frankly, you disgust me. You’re playing a perfect victim when in reality you’ve been credibly accused of rape and everyone abandoned you exactly like they ought to. What is confusing?
Haha some of you people are absolute monsters. I was credibly accused? What?
Maybe I am fishing for sympathy here, because I don’t fuckin get any in real life that’s for sure
You are.
Accusation of rape has become a weapon of sorts but it is a useless weapon unless these accusations are blindly accepted by ignorant people like you.
I do not know if it was true, you do not know if it was true. We will never, ever, find out. Leaving that accusation for what it is, an unproven statement, that is the sensible stance to take but you chosen to believe and repeat something you have no idea of if it was true or not.
Think of it like this: if the accusation was false, you just kicked a man in the teeth while being down. And you did it with gusto.
I hope and trust you understand the pain injustice can cause and not being able to do anything about it. But that is the confusing part about you; why would you want to do that? Why would you take the risk of immensely hurting someone this deeply on the basis of nothing you can prove or know about?