29 and still confused af
https://social.treehouse.systems/@bri7/115789310926455235
whole thread is really good
From where I’m sitting, a 55yo who came out eight years ago, the biggest thing I deal with is grief.
I tried to come out at 23 – young for the 90’s! – but chickened out in part because of some gatekeeping and also fear. So. Much. Fear. Even then though, my voice had dropped, my beard come in, and and and…
But I was young and hot and around beautiful slackers who would have loved me regardless, and now I carry the grief of 33 years of coulda-been.
That’s the price of transitioning in middle age, for me at least.
You might think that an old like me might be resentful of the opportunities available for trans youth today. Absolutely not! Seeing young adults who never had to go through the “wrong” puberty, that gives me so much hope and joy!
I grieve now for the kids who are seeing that hope deferred.
I guess what I’m getting at is that any age you transition at, there may be lost time to grieve, but more than that, it’s something to be treasured beyond value.
I celebrate each and every one of you 💕
i don’t pretend to know what that’s like but i just want to say, to varying degrees, most everyone struggles to find themselves and whenever they do it always feels late. some people marry at 20 and figure out they want something else from life at 45. people can find out they need to change their moral beliefs, their faith, their family… we’re all trying to figure things out and the best we can do is make the most of what we have at any time.
Yes plz :( I’m almost double that and want to curl up into a ball and self combust.
Hey, it’s never too late to be yourself! There are so many examples of happy trans people who didn’t transition until later in life. (I have to remind myself of that all the time 😅)
I know it’s tempting to mourn the lost time, but what’s far more important is the years ahead of you. You can do this!
I dunno what state you’re in AU but transgender victoria offers good support if you’re not in community
took me so long to find community that actually welcomed me
People can talk about their own lived experiences however they want
I don’t think that’s the point OP is making, but rather using one’s lived experience as a basis for which to judge others’ lived experiences.
For some, 21 may feel ancient, but for others, their current >21 age is just right. No need to say things in a way that makes the latter feel like they missed the boat on happiness.
On one hand, its an expression of how long the poster struggled with finding themselves, on the other a 45 year old egg could read that and start taping the cracks in their egg back together cause now it feels way too late for them.
With a therapist, sure, but don’t bust in to a public space with problematic harmful shit and expect a pat on the head, a pat on the back as I show you the door maybe lol
you mean like when that b**** f**** n**** f**** my b***** a***? like that? smh
I started HRT at the age of 36. I sometimes look back and wish I started sooner. But it is what it is. I can’t change the past. All I can do is look forward to the future and focus on improving myself over time.
I’m a firm believer in that you can start HRT at any age. It’s never too late to be the person you want to be. It’s never too late to pursue happiness.
A couple years ago, I met someone who said she only could understand her sexuality/gender and have the freedom to express it very recently, in her 60s, and now she faces prejudice both for society, and also from a large part of the queer community, due to her age. This was so sad :(
I hope it’s actually a small part that does this, but human perception makes it feel much larger.
I work for an LGBT choral group of 100 singers and more. There are young and old in the transition process. My advice for anyone is to make sure you have the support system. When one of our members is having a hard time or is celebrating a decision, we all are there for them. They are taken out, they are visited, they are called and get emails of concern and support. It is a beautiful thing. We applaud, console and hug one another every day.
You know, straight people do not have this level of support and community so I encourage everyone, straight or other, find an LGBT group that you can join and participate with whether it is a gay choir, gay hiking club, gay book club, gay bar. You don’t have to be gay and don’t have to have sex with them, just befriend, accept and support. They will do the same and respect who you are. They are not prejudice against straight people. I love when new members come out to the choir. They say they feel like they are home.
I’d guess that 1/3 of the group is straight. We have a straight couple who joined the choir to support their newly out teenage son. He is not old enough to sing with us but sells tickets at the door, raffle prizes and helps to set stuff up. The point is, the people are there for community. The group not only changes lives but has saved lives.
To quote Stephen Sondheim, “No One Is Alone.”
30, amab enby, still questioning and doubtful. Christian conservative household fucked me up good
I came out as a woman at 55. Best thing I’ve ever done.
I came out when i was in my late 20s, started hrt a year later, and after 5 years of hrt i still get transpeople asking if I’m going to start, and what I want out of transitioning, telling me ‘how feminine’ i am.
I did this all on my own isolated and in secret in a conservative community, the first person I came out to, my first openly queer friend, outed me to the jordan peterson fans I was living with (it’s so funny, how we don’t talk anymore)
I could scream, very grateful to people for constantly reminding me how little some people value me or my experience, they’re like: if you don’t transition in the womb your a worthless hunk of meat, get srs or you’ll never amount to anything
sincerely, read a fucking book, stop browsing 4chan, touch grass
urgh
I came out at the right age for me. It would be nice to have the benefits of transitioning earlier, but it was not realistic. It wasn’t my time.
