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Cake day: June 5th, 2025

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  • Additional context:

    TSA is part of DHS (Department of Homeland Security). ICE and border patrol are also a part of DHS.

    After ICE started shooting citizens, the democrats said “no additional funding without some reforms.” In trumps Big Beautiful Bill ICE was already given a huge chunk of funding for the next few years, but they would like more.

    Democrats have been trying to fund TSA but want a separate vote for ICE. This arrangement recently passed the senate but republicans in the house voted it down because they think they can pin the blame on the democrats and force them to give ICE more funding along with the TSA.



  • In the conversation with Fortune, Murrell added that he gave a $1.5m bonus to employees of Five Guys’ 1,500 US stores to try to make up for the chaos unleashed by the promotion at various locations.

    Globally … FiveGuys has 30,000 employees.

    So let me get this straight. This fucking moron dreamed up a dumbass promotion that made 30,000 employees lives miserable as angry customers demanded free burgers and most likely hurled vitriol and hate at them.

    His big brain protection was to give every store $1000. $1.5M spread out amongst 30k employees is $50 per employee.

    You think one of these employees could be mad enough to shoot you and then go “hmm… $50 ought to do it”

    I sorta hope someone spend their $50 on ammo

    Edit: fiveguys made $3.5B in revenue last year or about $10M per day and this guy wants a slap on the back for handing out 1/10th of 1 days revenue to the people that actually make that money for the self serving reason of not getting shot.

    Edit: for those that would prefer I rerun these numbers for just the US employees

    From the fiveguys website

    We average roughly 25 employees per Five Guys location. Add it all up and we currently have more than 30,000 people working for Five Guys worldwide!

    At our corporate office, we have around 250 employees.

    So let’s take the $1000 per location (which I calculated with the number of locations in the US) and divide that by 25 employees per location and we arrive at… $40.

    For those upset that I used revenue instead of profits, five guys doesn’t publish annual profit figures so I’d have to guess and I can’t imagine that would make you any happier. At a 10% profit margin it’s 1 days worth of profits.


  • It’s even worse.

    There’s no advantage here. He said this to have a fleeting moment of feeling special because he knew something private and had the power to reveal it.

    That’s it. That’s all he got out of this, for a second he got to feel like a big man, and that was enough to smile and tell everyone someone else private medical information.

    See how important I am, I know something not everyone else knows. Sure it’s terrible news for that guy, but I’m not that guy so why would I give a fuck. He said he would stay and lick my boots up until his death, so I guess the only real tragedy is at some point he will die and I’ll need to find a new person to lick my boots.

    That’s what’s flowing through trumps rotten brain