Transcription
Black text on white background reading “when i say “if i recall” or “if i remember correctly” i am being polite about being right. i remember and i am correct.”
When I use those phrases I’m indicating uncertainty, so really, PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong.
I used to work for a guy who was never wrong. He didn’t talk much but when he did say something, it was always correct. He still hedged a lot, so he would say “I’m not sure you’re right; I think the answer might be X.” What that meant was “You are certainly mistaken and the only reasonable answer is X.”
That’s me in person. Online I’m more likely to offer an opinion on a subject, with a caveat that I’m willing to be corrected. In person, if I speak up, it’s because I am either 100% correct, or I have every reason to believe I am. I don’t open my trap unless I am positive I know the answer.
I don’t open my trap unless I am positive I know the answer.
This is is a remarkably valuable skill, and remarkably rare.
I’ll stay quiet even in that case if it looks like the answer’s close to the surface of the conversation anyway.
My mom’s favorite teaching quote was “it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and erase all doubt”
On maybe the third day of my first programming job, a colleague pulled me aside and said “don’t give me ‘shoulds’ and ‘probablys’. You need to sound confident so I can know to trust what you’re saying”.
That guy was a bit of a dickhead in general but there’s a lot of truth there. To the question “what’s the expected impact of this change?”, “None.” is a good answer. “Well it should work…” is not useful feedback and a good Operations Manager will rightfully reject the change.
Of course it is better to be hesitant than falsely confident, but far too many (software) engineers hide behind indecisive language to dodge the necessary hard work of validating their hunches. If you didn’t test your shit fully, just say so. If you’re right, say it. Personal ego doesn’t belong in an engineering discussion.
My memory is actually not 100% there so when I use those phrases I do mean “if I recall correctly”, lol. I think I use “we’re all free to think what we think” if I wanna keep the conversation going or “fair enough” when I wanna exit it. 👍
My memory is terrible too, but I pretty much only use those phrases when I’m 100% sure I do recall. The rest of the time I feel like it isn’t worth speaking up at all.
Yeah lol I use it because I often remember the start of a point, but never what we ended up deciding/nuance of the particular pribkem
Or you’re a woman talking to a certain type of man, and want to avoid an argument if he decides what he thinks is correct when it isn’t … or just try to use passive wording as much as possible in general so you don’t get fired for being ‘a bitch’.
“Is that right? I had heard an alternate theory…”
You’re definitely wrong, and I know more about this than you do.
“AS STATED CLEARLY IN THE PREVIOUS EMAIL, f*ck you” My brain, 4 times a week
I only use it to cover my ass because I’m not sure I’m right
That’s funny because when I say those things it usually means “you asked me for an answer so I’m supplying you an answer despite having no personal confidence in my answer. If you act on based on this information alone it’s your own damn fault.”
I hate not using that phrasing because I know I am fallible, but to many normal people, even if you know you can be wrong, you give a confident response.
If there is any chance I could be slightly incorrect I use this phrasing, but this really has meant that some people are more grating to me than others because they will think you arent confident or smart if you show any signs of being able to acknowledge your fallibility
IIRC is my way of getting out of citing sources, often because I don’t remember exactly what it was, say if I saw it during a nature show on PBS or a segment on SciShow
Sometimes I don’t remember if it was AP, Reuters or Mother Jones where I got a fact or a take, but it was someplace I could probably trust. So If I remember right…
Curiously, if I don’t trust a source and can’t recall who it was, I’ll attribute it to vicious rumors or some muckraking rag or but it sounds like something FOX News would put out, so take with salt.
It’s also an out for if for whatever reason, I am misremembering and am wrog
Really? Because if I use “if I remember correctly” I mean I’m not 100% sure of I do and am completely open for someone else to come along and show me the correct answer.
There are a few times I mean it cynically.
